1.Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. - Well ain't that the truth! No one ever got to the top of Everest and said "That was a cake walk! Let's do it again!" i think also about the great LOVE part, i'm so grateful to know that Matty and i love each other so much and it's only getting stronger with each day. That's not to say every day is a breeze, just that we fill our "love bank" with deposits often so when there is a withdraw it's not so bad.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. How do i even add to that? What comes to my mind is my total and complete despise towards the saying "Everything happens for a reason!" (and to people who over use it)
NO DUH bad things happen! That doesn't mean there's a "reason" for it! No, you didn't drop the Thanksgiving pie for a "reason"! No, you did not break your leg for a reason! No, one of my best friends didn't just die for a REASON! Bad things happen to every one, whether it be a terrible accident, or karma, or just a bad day. Every experience we have in this life is a lesson and it's how you deal with it that makes you and me who we are. Also i believe after we have gone through the refiners fire of life lessons i think we come to a better understanding of who are friends are.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions. i know self being first is no coincidence. If you have no self respect/worth/esteem not only are you cheating yourself but others can see it too. My mom was always a HUGE help in nurturing my little self esteem growing up! She would also point out to me that when someone did something to get me down they hadn't grown into their self esteem yet and thought by bringing me down it would bring them up. i think those who still need to learn self respect will (with luck) learn at the same time that it doesn't have to be "I win, you lose" over everything.
Lovely Matty got an audiobook for us to listen to called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (here) and what amazing points he brings up! i'm not even half way through but i really enjoy listening to his studies and advice. One thing that is mentioned and makes me sad (it's also talked about in the book Blink) is how destructive having contempt in a marriage is. Putting someone below yourself is so harmful and never leads to any good. Respect for others is essential in life, yes that means the garbage man, bus driver, or DMV worker ;)
Responsibility for ALL your actions means owning up and apologizing for them even when the sour taste is almost unbearable. It goes away in time
(that's my wedding ring. And a lemon. sour, get it?
No, there's not the "i married a lemon" underlying theme in this picture. Matty LOVES
my lemon cake!)
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. Ha!
Oh let us all just sit for a minute and think about the things we wished for as kids, or in high school. If you really got 1,000,000 candies on Halloween? Becky can you imagine what it would have been like if i went to Prom with HSB?? Hahaha (He was the best looking guy on the surf team but that's about all i can vouch for..) Prom was SO fun though and would not have been the same with a different date.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. How's that saying go? It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship. I think we have all seen this happen. May i also add Don't let dispute ruin families, either our own or loved ones.
My brother Troy and i in Tobago. My brother Ian's caption:
"
Pretty normal situation: Paige-cracking up. Troy-guilty and/or somewhat confused. BUT he does represent the Pasadena rock scene in foreign lands quite professionally"
Troy is hands down the winner for most arguments in my life. As of now i think he leads by a few thousand. i'm sure one of my kids will give him a run for his money, but be warned child - i learned from the best! Thankfully we either resolve it or get over it. i mean, we both made it off Mt. Fuji in one piece. i was pretty sure i was going to kill Deet, not the typhoon.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. Goes back to the principle of respect. It doesn't matter if you have respect for the other person on this, i think your self respect goes up when you take ownership of your actions. If you have made the mistake it is your responsibility to fix it and yours alone
8. Spend some time alone every day. i think this is not as important for some as it is for others. For me i would say every other day. (this "me time" is be my workout time) some day i will master this pose!
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values. So much change is happening in our young lives right now i can't imagine trying to turn my back on it!
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Truth! i have nothing more to say :)
Except maybe to add a favorite quote - "A closed mouth gathers no foot"
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
i hope to never live with regret, only happy memories
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Matty and i talked about this SO much when we were dating! i want our children to know they are always loved and welcome at home and never feel the need to go else where for security. In addition i want my kid's friends to be able to come to our home and feel the love and comfort we share
i want a porch on the front of my house
and let's be honest, where is the most time spent? So i better have an awesome kitchen!
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. Another key point mentioned in the book (see number 3). This is sadly something i have witnessed from my parents, of how hurtful and pointless it is. What's done is done and let the water go under the bridge
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality. i love the truth in this! Aunt Colleen - i will always heat up the milk for good mashed potatoes. Dee, ian, Greg, Beck, and KMurph - the best friends are those who listen. Dad - photography. Mom - how to love others and be selfless
15. Be gentle with the earth. My Grammie taught me this! Leave a place cleaner than you found it! -Pick up the trash! it might not be yours but the earth is ours-
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. Next stop Kauai! We leave July 10th
We will return and report on this every year till we die
Coming up!
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. In all honesty i do not understand this yet. i can speculate, but that's about it.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. The good and the bad. Was it all worth it?
